Casts Out Fear

Originally posted on paulastonewilliams.com on August 14, 2024

One of my friends serves as a counselor at a private rehab center in Colorado. Just last week one of her clients said a friend had sent him a sermon from a church in Denver that talked about the importance of parents giving their children a blessing, something the client had never received. He said to the counselor, “I thought what the woman said was pretty good stuff, though she was transgender.” He gave the sermon link to another client who said he was looking for a church. He told the therapist that the sermon was okay, but that wasn’t the church for him. It was too progressive. They had a transgender pastor speaking.

I rarely get to receive that kind of feedback. Painful though it is, it reminds me of how much my privilege and white male entitlement affect my outlook on life. It rarely occurs to me that people might not listen to one of my talks, or be a part of something of which I am a part, simply because I am transgender.

Another friend sent correspondence from a mutual friend of ours indicating the grief that person had received for posting a picture with Michael Smith and me, two former leaders of non-profit ministries in the Restoration Movement of churches. We were all together at the Wild Goose Festival. Michael is one of the most character-filled and Christlike people I know. Those giving the person grief wanted the post removed, and apparently replaced with information related to what they perceive to be the shortcomings of Michael and me, though that part was not all that clear.

Thankfully, the friend’s boss backed up my friend and refused to ask his employee to remove the post. I know the courage it took for his boss to do that, someone I’ve always respected, and now respect even more.

I forget just how frightened that world can be. I also forget just how powerful it is. I forget that a wonderful Christian man could be in trouble just for spending time with two of us who are no longer a part of his denomination, and are viewed negatively by many, if not most, within that denomination.

I was completely ostracized by that world ten years ago, and fewer than a score have reached out to encourage me or renew connections since that time. I am grateful for the reconnection at Wild Goose, and for the mutual friend who brought the four of us together.

Of the 592 anti-transgender laws introduced in state legislatures, and the 90 passed into law in 22 states, most were not driven by Republicans per se. Sixty percent of Republicans feel transgender people should have the same civil rights as everyone else. Those laws were driven by evangelicals, 87 percent of whom believe gender is immutably determined at birth, 67 percent of whom believe we already give too many civil rights to transgender people, yet only 31 percent of whom know someone who is out as transgender.

I wonder how many of those people would say I am the person they know who is out as transgender? To be clear, they do know me. I am the same follower of Christ I was before, with the same character, integrity, and heart. It is sad that most of them do not see it that way.

Last month at the Wild Goose Festival, Mitchell Gold, the furniture magnate, recorded several of us who were from an evangelical background. We all spoke about the importance of not electing Donald Trump to another four years in the White House. He, and we, are all disappointed that the evangelical world has so fully backed Trump, and how negative that has been for the entire LGBTQ+ population. Those recordings will be released nationwide this month. I will post a link on my Facebook account.

As sad as the loss of so many friends from my former denomination, I am greatly encouraged at the support I see building among Christians for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Last week, on the day she announced her VP choice, I spoke for a Harris campaign event for LGBTQ+ folks. This week I spoke for the inaugural event of Christians for Kamala. Over 4,000 people watched the online rally live, and as of this writing, ten times more have viewed it since the event. Here is the link, if you’re interested.

Immediately after I finished speaking, I heard from several people who had watched it live. Over the last two days I’ve heard from several more. I went back and looked at audience comments during the rally, and it was encouraging to see how many people were grateful that there are Christians in America, thousands of them, and likely millions, who feel like they feel. Many had felt alone in their opposition to the anti-Christian rhetoric of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance.

I will be very active during this campaign. Not only is the safety of transgender people at stake. Our democracy is at stake. It is beyond me how evangelicalism can have fallen so far into the trap of MAGA extremism. Fear is a powerful emotion, and sadly, many of these people have a faith and world outlook that is profoundly fear based.

Fear is not the foundation of Christianity. Loving God, neighbor, and self is. Until we return to that foundational truth, evangelicalism will be lost. These friends from my past seem to be terrified of entering the swamplands of the soul. The truth is that the swamplands of the soul is where love is, grounding and firm. But you cannot discover that love if you refuse to face your fears and go into the swamplands. An entire movement of Christians is chained to fear, which is a more terrifying place to abide than any swamplands.

In the swamplands you are forced to examine your prejudices, your own shortcomings, and the truth that much of the time, evil is not out there, it is in here. Only when you can see the shadows in your own heart can you be open to finding the firm footing that is always available in the swamplands of the soul. My life is no longer fear-based, and that is what gives me the strength to withstand all the vitriol I receive.

I had to delete messages on social media today related to my words at the rally. I’m sure it will continue. It goes with the territory. Seems like the Apostle John might have said something about love casting out fear. I always did like John. I doubt I’ll live into my 90s in exile on Patmos like he did, but living in exile from my old world has proven to be more life-affirming than I would have expected.

And so it goes.